Fitness that Fits in your Hand

When it comes to getting sweaty, going to the gym is pretty low on my list.  There are plenty of other activities I like to participate in that I can convince myself is burning calories.  Chief among them is eating super spicy food on the couch watching TV with the air conditioning off. Sure it’s economical but not as erotic as you were expecting.  To be honest, I’m betting there are a couple of you out there that can relate.

Now, full disclosure, I’m the kind of girl who never really needed to workout. (Hold your boos until the end please) I could eat an entire bag of douche chips (salt & vinegar) and a bottle of screw-top wine every night and not gain an ounce.  My skin would eventually start looking like Ray Liotta and my liver was one step away from calling the cops but I think you get my point.  I had it all under control through my 20s, got hitched and started a family in my 30s, had kids and still bounced back for the most part, but then I hit my 40s and that’s when shit got real. It wasn’t anything drastic, but my body was clearly starting to change and everything was starting to slow down.

I realized quickly that not only am I going to have to stop stuffing my face but I may also have to start the dreaded “E” word. I’m unfortunately not talking about Ejaculate, Exfoliate or Escape (which come to think of it sounds like a great Tuesday night) but I’m talking about exercise.  My biggest problem, the last time I even thought about exercising Jane Fonda was where it was at.  I think I need to up my game a little bit and get into the 21^st century.

I managed to dodge the “Freshman 15” years ago, but now there has to be a way for me to work on the “Fortyish 15” which are kind of kicking (and hanging on to ) my ass.  At the same time, all kidding aside, it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world for me to get a little healthier and cardio-smart while I’m at it. So I joined a yoga studio and I committed to go 3-5 times a week.  It’s been really great but I still wanted to do a bit more so I was thrilled when I found out about Aaptiv an audio/cardio exercise app.

Aaptiv is an app that has different levels and styles of audio exercise classes with a selection of trainers and music to motivate you and keep you going. They have a bunch of different trainers and styles of workouts so you can find the one you like the best. I love the fact that there are lots of classes with different durations because some days I had plenty of time and energy but other days it was a chore to find 10 minutes and my ass was dragging the entire time. It’s kind of like sex, but without the spastic flailing and money exchange.

I really liked the yoga classes because I could do it from home and since I had been to the yoga studio and learned all the postures I followed along with no problems. The abs class kicked my ass which I loved and each night I fell asleep to the meditation class – not my goal but when I meditate in bed at night I’m lucky if I can make it 10 minutes. I also tried their elliptical classes – who knew that machine in my room that I dry clothes on was a piece of workout equipment? Lately I had been upping my elliptical game and using the machine as a ring toss game for my bras at the end of the night, but lo and behold it actually has an exercise use.  No one was more surprised than me that this was my favorite class because even though I have it in my room, having someone in your ear motivating you along the way makes all the difference.  I used to watch cooking shows while on the treadmill (yeah, I get the irony too) so I have to admit I wasn’t really giving it my all.  But now with a Junior Drill Sergeant in my ear pushing me along I felt like Richard Gere in An Officer and a Gentleman screaming “Don’t you do it! I’ve got nowhere else to go!” Yes, an oddly demented mindset but it does get me sweating my ass off.  For a fraction of the price of leaving the house (it’s very people-y out there) Aaptiv is bringing the workouts, the trainers and the motivation right to my headphones.  Depending on my mood I can choose from  5K/10K training programs, indoor cycling, treadmill, outdoor walking and running.  OK, running might be a stretch, the only way I go running is if some asshole steals my purse and I have to chase him. But who am I kidding I’d say “Fuck it” and make a trip to the DMV for a new license rather than chase him.

So short story long, I think the Aaptiv app is great for someone like me.  I’m a mom so obviously I don’t have a set schedule any day of the week and I feel like the 15 minutes of commute time each way to my local gym could be better spent on the important things…like a glass of wine.  I needed a workout solution that was ready to go literally at my fingertips at a moment’s notice.  If I want workouts like 13 minutes of “Absurd Abs”, 37 minutes of “Chill Pop Vinyasa” or even 15 minutes of “Legs Like Fire” then Aaptiv is ready whenever I am.

It’s time to stop sitting on your couches eating spicy food trying to get into better shape.  It’s the perfect time to check out Aaptiv as they’ve got a 7-day free trial available now; and I always say if it’s free it’s for me.  Get sweaty in the privacy of your own home, all you have to lose is a butt-shaped dent in your couch.