I love movies, always have. A decent rom-com, a good tear-jerker, even a few sci-fi movies have kept me entertained, but there’s one genre that I just can’t get into…zombie movies. During quarantine I started watching a movie called World War Z. Basically it was ten million zombies versus roughly 14 people, so it was pretty much every zombie movie ever. Even with the incredibly above average looking Brad Pitt as the star (that man can wear the hell out of a scarf) I just couldn’t get into it and turned it off halfway through. Everyone is just running, the odds seem insurmountable, they never stop to eat, sleep, screw or poop. No wonder they’re terrified, and probably super bloated and cranky…no thanks!
So before you start asking “Ellen, is this really an article about zombies, Brad Pitt or your fear of being bloated?” Well, for the record it’s not about any of these things, but I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t seen Thelma and Louise at least a dozen times.
So, my real problem with zombie movies is me. I know if I was the main character I’d just give up. It just looks too hard to keep fighting and for what…you know in the end you’re either going to end up being a zombie or end up being lunch. Why fight it? Well, shit…now I feel awful about myself. I’m a bad-ass mom, I eat healthy, I own a treadmill and a cute workout outfit. In the face of overwhelming odds, am I really quitter? Don’t I want to be the cute, plucky superhero who saves the world and doesn’t treat their family like a 3-pack of TV dinners? I feel like these are valuable, yet oddly specific questions I have to ask myself. In the face of what may feel like an overwhelming crisis are you going to be Brad Pitt or are you going to be lunch? (although if being Brad Pitt’s lunch was an option I might change my answer)
Ok, a bit dramatic and I fully acknowledge that I’m not a superhero (although I have been known to pull off a decent Wonder Woman and a kick-ass Batgirl during Halloween). So while zombies are not (yet) a thing, there is a very real crisis that is actually sweeping the planet. It’s our very own real life World War C (it’s for Climate and unfortunately not for Cookie, because I might fight all of you for the last cookie). We need to realize that it’s no longer Climate Change – it’s more like Climate Already Changed. It’s not coming…it’s here. In my head I’ve combined the onslaught of a wave of zombies and my anxiety about Climate Change into an eco-boogey-man-mega-monster I have dubbed Climombies. And just like that beautiful scarf-wearing man I’m going to fight like hell and I’m going to do my best to drag you all along with me. Right now California and Montana are on fire, icebergs are melting, Europe is hotter than hell, Kentucky has too much water and Mississippi doesn’t have any, it’s time to go to work!
“But Ellen, I’m only one person, how many lights would I need to turn off during the day to make a real difference?” Well, I’m here to tell you that the answer is…just one and tell a friend to turn off one too. If they tell a friend and that friend tells a friend then that’s how we beat the Climombies. I don’t want to be lunch, I want to be one of the green heroes we need right now and you can be one too (mask and costume are optional, but highly recommended in the bedroom).
I started writing this blog before they called it “eco-anxiety” back in 2014 when it didn’t have a name. Well, 7 years later it has a name and now instead of letting the Climombies win by just lying down and getting eaten (metaphorically of course), I wanted to fight back. The time for talking is over. We are way past turning off lights when we leave a room and recycling your tin cans. These things are still important, but I want to talk about the next level of being eco-friendly. I like to give you tips and examples to make you say “huh, I never even thought of that”. I’m not going to tell you to go buy a Tesla or remind you that toilet paper has 2 sides, but if this was a zombie movie then we are at the start of the third act where shit starts getting real.
Whether you want to believe it or not the planet is hurting and it seems to be fighting back. We’re the ones who need to change, but it doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice your way of life. With some simple “next-level” changes to our lives we can really make a big difference, and BONUS…save money at the same time.
Make no mistake, I’m not trying to sell you anything or make you feel bad that you use plastic straws or that you don’t always recycle. I’m here to tell you that climate change sucks and it’s ok to be pissed and afraid and you’re not alone. Unfortunately, Brad Pitt isn’t going to save the day, we are. Stay on the journey with me or join it for the first time now and if we all just put in a little bit of work then we can be the change we’ve been so desperately waiting for.
Think of it like using a bidet, sometimes all it takes is a slight adjustment to get the job done.
