My hubby makes the same Mother’s Day joke every year. “I’d love to help you repeat the act that made you a mother in the first place”. I told him we can talk about that on
any other Sunday (that’s the day each week we change the sheets anyway), but this Sunday is mine. He unofficially calls it Mother-F#$%ers Day, but our M-Day fantasies are quite different. My fantasy has no rose petals strewn about the bedroom, no his and hers Cialis tubs on a beach somewhere, and there are no chocolates, extravagant dinners or battery operated marital aids to be found. Nope, my version of “A Harlequin Romance Mother’s Day” is sleeping late, not cooking a single meal (or doing the dishes) and celebrating the original mother…Mother Earth by spending my day outside in the garden.
Misspelled cards and Picasso-esque drawings from my kids over the years will always have a special place in my heart, but as my girls are now in their teens (please pray for me, or at the very least send wine) the gift of spending time with them is just as precious. While not as Earthy-Crunchy as I am, at least not yet, my girls have definitely embraced some of my Eco-friendly ways and joined me on my journey.
I’ve become a newly self-proclaimed minimalist, I have a new kitchen goal, and I’m no longer driving a Hybrid. Is your interest piqued? Well, you’ll have to keep watching as I’ll get to those stories in future articles, but for now let me present my gift (or gifts) from one mom to another. Let yourself be a bit selfish this M-Day, we’ve earned it ladies and we keep earning it every day no matter if you’re changing diapers, need your own diaper changed or anywhere in between. Edible panties are a bit too personal, a candle that actual smells like Gwyneth Paltrow’s edible panties is definitely too personal, and “How to be a Good Mom” by Stephen and Janet Bly is somewhere between passive aggressive and just being a dick. I’ll admit there are some pretty terrific store-bought gifts out there but if you’re a regular reader of mine then you shouldn’t be surprised that I’m giving you my TOP 10 FREE things you can do right now to save you money and save Mama Earth.
1 Next to my kitchen sink is a pitcher. Don’t’ go out and buy one – trust me you’ve got something right now that’s collecting dust and will work perfectly. A big glass, a vase, a water pitcher, a bowl your kids made you for a past Mother’s Day, that goldfish bowl you bought even though the poor guy died two days after you got him. Really anything that will hold water. Throughout the day there’s so much extra water I have but never use. The water my kids didn’t drink, water in the measuring cup or pot that I didn’t use, or even ice that fell on the floor. Instead of tossing it down the drain, I put it in my pitcher and when it’s full, I use it to water my plants. Save money on your water bill and you’re not just tossing it down the sink.
2 Become that weird person who demands everyone to take their shoes off at the front door. I swear every time someone asked me to do it, I’d roll my eyes (behind 
their back – I’m not that rude) while taking off my shoes. Yup, now you can roll your eyes at me. Not tracking in dirt and debris helps to reduce indoor toxins and it helps to keep your floors clean. Between my 2 kids, my 2 dogs and my hubby there’s a lot of outdoors that ends up indoors. I used to blow through vacuum bags like potato chips at a Grateful Dead concert so this is really a no-brainer, less dirt, less spending on bags and less vacuuming…win, win, win.
3 Join me in My Year of Clear. Confused? That’s what I called it when I woke up and decided to keep only the things I love, use or are sentimental. Everything else goes. Not to the landfill of course, don’t be ridiculous. All that crap you’re saving “Just in case”? Let me be your blunt friend. I know you have the best of intentions, but you’re never going to use it. Trust me if you haven’t touched it in a year you don’t need it and why not make some money off it and sell it on Ebay, Craigslist or Facebook Marketplace. Let someone else use it or if you just don’t want the hassle of selling it, then donate it. Your trash is someone else’s treasure, find a local thrift store that donates the proceeds to a non-profit organization and you can feel good enough about yourself to dance around your house that just got slightly more roomy.
4 Did you know your clothes get just as clean using cold water. Yup, you not only save money on your energy bill but it will help keep your clothes looking new and helps the planet. BAM all in one! And if you want to take it another eco-step further, check out THIS ARTICLE and see how I ditched laundry detergent and now my clothes (and my washer and dryer) have never smelled better
5 
This Mother’s Day I’ve set a huge personal goal for myself. Read one book a week. If you’re a reader like me there’s no way I’m buying all those books to read them once and then stick them on a shelf like some strange literary trophy. My local library always has enough to keep me entertained and they encourage their customers to help the planet by posting on the receipts how much money you’re saving by borrowing rather than buying each book.
6 “Turn the goddamn lights off!” Ahhhhh this brings me back. if I had a dollar every time my dad screamed that at me I could probably buy a small Island…like Staten Island. Turning off the lights inside the house is certainly easy enough, but it appears as if most of my neighbors grew up in a very different household and they keep their outside lights on all night. Now far be it from me to judge, so if you’re like them I totally get it (nope, I’m silently judging you). If you feel you need to keep the outside lights on at night, at least invest in a timer which saves energy and money on your electric bill. Unless of course you actually do own the electric company and then you should just turn them off to help Mama Earth while you are rolling around each night in all of our money.
7 Did you know you can turn the heat off in your dishwasher? Many even have an auto air option which allows your dishes to air dry. I always run my dishwasher (only when it’s full) at night so if it takes a few hours to dry it won’t matter.
8 I have a neighbor I absolutely adore but he’s a neat freak. He unrolls his garden hose each Saturday and washes his driveway especially in the spring. If he used just a broom instead of a hose he’d get the job done quicker, save money on his water bill and conserve the wet stuff. (Note to self…send sidewalk chalk to his kids and say they should draw mom a happy M-day message on the driveway)
9 Saving water seems to be the easiest thing you can do right now to save your wallet and the planet. Take a shower instead of a bath (uses less water). Don’t run the water while washing your dishes or brushing your teeth, and always try to shower with a buddy (in my case my hubby). And remember…A Retriever can be Golden, a Willy Wonka ticket can be Golden and Rose, Dorothy, Blanche and Sophia should always be Golden, but I would recommend to keep the Golden out of your shower for two.
10 If you’re not using rooms in your house, close off the vents to help reduce your energy costs and increases efficiency.
So to all those mothers, grandmothers and hard-working ladies out there enjoy your day, do something nice for yourself and for the Earth. Check back often for more helpful info and be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss a thing.
That’s it for me today, I’m off to do some gardening and maybe if my hubby plays his cards right there’ll be a shower for 2 in his future.
