So there I was, a fresh-faced budding young woman of 14. I was at the movies with some friends, and that’s when I first saw him. He became very important during my “formative years” and was often on my mind as I drifted off to sleep…Jake Ryan.

When Sixteen Candles came out in 1984, I thought the story was cute, the dress was awesome, but Jake was dreamy. Somewhere over the years his dialogue with Long Duk Dong got all mixed up in my head, and my friends and I started referring to Jake as the “oily bo-hunk.” (Molly Ringwald purists will remember that it was actually Samantha’s sister who was marrying the oily bo-hunk, not Jake. But after thirty years, I’ll blame my memory and not the wine.)

Fast forward almost 30 years and my life has changed. I used to think about Jake Ryan while I was in the shower. Now I think about him after I get out.

That’s right…I’m talking about moisturizing.

One of my ongoing STDs (Shit To Do, people…relax) is taking better care of my skin. Most of us wait until our hands feel like sandpaper or our heels could strike a match before we think about lotion. Moisturizing on demand is a little like flossing the night before a dentist appointment. Better late than never, but it’s not exactly a long-term strategy.

So here’s my new snake-skin-begone routine.

I take a shower and towel off, but not completely. I leave my skin just a little damp, then rub on a thin layer of good old organic coconut oil. I have some sensory issues, so I can’t get dressed if I still feel greasy. Thankfully the coconut oil soaks in pretty quickly, and before long I’m good to go.

I know some people moisturize every single day. Good for them.

I can’t.

I’m lucky if I have time to eat two meals some days, so I’m keeping this one realistic. Three or four times a week is something I can stick with, and I’d rather build a habit I can maintain than aim for perfection and quit after a week.

Like I always say, do what you can. If you can do it every day, fantastic. If you can only manage a couple of times a week, that’s still better than not doing it at all.

A couple of weeks after I started my new routine, my husband reached over while we were watching TV and rubbed my leg.

“What are you doing differently?”

“What do you mean?”

“Your skin feels really soft.”

I smiled.

“Dancing with Jake Ryan.”

He looked at me like I’d completely lost my mind.  Some jokes are just for me.  The important part was that he noticed.

So now every time I step out of the shower and reach for the coconut oil, I smile and think of my teenage crush from 1984.

Not a bad way to start the day.

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Let’s talk about STDs. Don’t worry, this isn’t a trip down memory lane (or the common room in your college dorm). Around here, STD stands for Shit To Do. Fortunately, now that I’m married and in my 40s, the closest I get to an actual STD is sitting too close to the TV when Law & Order: SVU is on. But if you keep reading, I think you’ll actually agree that you need yourself some STDs.

If you’re like me, first let me pity you, and then let me congratulateyou on being awesome and super hot. You probably have at least a few STD moments every day. You could be standing in line at the supermarket, packing the kids’ lunches or blankly staring at the ceiling when something you forgot to do suddenly pops into your head. Those are my Shit To Do moments. It’s not that I’m lazy. Life just gets in the way of all my best planning.

So I made a promise to myself. Every week I’m going to add one positive habit to my family’s life that we probably should have been doing from the start. Nothing expensive. Nothing complicated. Just one simple thing that makes us a little healthier or a little greener. If it works, I’m going to pass my STD along to you.

Yes, I realize how wrong that sounds.

When my father was sick, he needed round-the-clock care from a wonderful group of aides. They took incredible care of him, but I quickly learned that words matter. You should have seen the looks I got telling people, “My father has great aides.”

Now I’m voluntarily telling people, “I got my STD from Ellen.”

Apparently I enjoy confusing strangers.

So here’s this week’s STD…

Wash your hands properly.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), to properly wash your hands you need to lather your palms, the backs of your hands, between your fingers and under your nails for at least 20 seconds before rinsing. I read that and realized I wasn’t even close. I was basically giving my hands a drive-by.

So the new rule in our house is simple. You have to sing “Happy Birthday” from beginning to end.

Twice.

It’s a whole lot easier than standing there counting to twenty while staring at the faucet like you’ve forgotten how time works.

The CDC also says that if you have soap and clean, running water, that’s still your best option. Hand sanitizer has its place, but whenever you’ve got access to a sink, plain old soap and water are still the gold standard.

The funny thing is how quickly twenty seconds becomes normal. The first couple of days everyone rolled their eyes. By the end of the week we were all absentmindedly singing “Happy Birthday” while washing our hands.

My point is simple. If you’re going to do something, do it right. Good intentions don’t get your hands clean. Twenty seconds and attention to detail do.

So that’s this week’s STD.

This past week, and hopefully moving forward, my whole family has been washing our hands like extras on Grey’s Anatomy, ready to “scrub in,” and singing “Happy Birthday” all the way through.

Twice.

And for what it’s worth, I never saw Kim Basinger or Mickey Rourke wash their hands once in 9½ Weeks. Look how that turned out.

The post I want to give you an STD appeared first on Living Clean and Dirty.