One of my faves was Pretty Woman.  A love story about a sexually philanthropic woman, a corporate vulture who pays for sex and Hector Elizondo.  It has it all, and it also has a super-random quote from “Happy Man” as described by IMDB.

“Welcome to Hollywood! What’s your dream? Everybody comes here; this is Hollywood, land of dreams. Some dreams come true, some don’t; but keep on dreamin’ – this is Hollywood. Always time to dream, so keep on dreamin’.”

We’ve all got dreams. Just the other night I had a dream that I was a real life poop emoji and Bruce Springsteen was chasing me around a dairy farm with a loaf of bread singing a song about a turd sandwich.

You know, the usual stuff.

But my real dream…my dreamiest dream is that one day I would be the greatest most powerful eco-warrior in all the land!!!  I would be like the love child of Ed Begley Jr and Wonder Woman (although that has the potential to be a disaster, and hopefully that conception would be immaculate). Well, about 7 years ago my dreams took a another leap forward and my eco-warrior status reached new heights, and as it turned out that height was about 25 feet from the ground.  Eminem knew how to raise a roof but I don’t think he ever thought about putting 42 magnificent sun-guzzling solar panels on it.

My BFF, who shall remain nameless, doesn’t even recycle…can you imagine? I say to her all the time “Allison (that’s with 2 Ls) it takes all of us working together to save the Earth.” To which she will respond “you’re right Ellen, feel free to recycle all of the soda cans in my car”.  And that’s why she’s my pal.  She calls me “Mother Superior” because I love the planet and I love for everyone to know it.

She loves me but thinks I act all superior about my reducing, recycling and reusing but I’m not (well, maybe just a little)…I just love helping others find their inner eco-warrior. I do more than your average bear, but I know I can’t stop climate change alone. In the opening of Knight Rider they say “one man can make a difference”. Now I may not be a man with a sweet perm and a talking car, but I am an Earth-loving mama who drives a hybrid and loves saving money and the Earth, not always in that order.  You may have read an earlier article about my hate-hate relationship with the sun and how I go from pasty white to crimson burn in no time flat but thanks to the magic of solar panels I fell in love with the sun all over again.

I grew up with a dad who would scream, “Turn the lights off, we don’t own LILCO.” (For those of you who didn’t grow up on Long Island it’s the equivalent to “We don’t own the electric company!” And I mean the company who supplies power to your house, not the oddly psychedelic kids show from the 70s which featured such inspiring icons like Bill Cosby, Morgan Freeman and Woody Allen). My father was a great man, but not what you would call an eco-warrior, he was more of an econo-warrior…finding ways to save money was his passion.  He hated paying high electric bills and nobody was prouder than he was when my electric bills started to drastically go down faster than Kevin Spacey’s career.

The ancient Greeks, Romans and Chinese used glass and mirrors to harness the power of the sun, the 1950s saw the introduction of solar cells using silicon, and in the 1990s the government started offering grants and incentives for solar while efficiency continued to rise. For years, I watched, waited and researched if solar was right for us. After living in our home for about a year, the stars and the moon (and the sun) aligned and the time was right to give my family the gift of solar. I’m pretty sure my girls would have preferred the gift of a pony and my husband would’ve preferred that first edition printing of “How to master the male multiple orgasm” that he’s been on the hunt for, but in the long run I feel I made the right choice.  Back in 2011 when we installed solar, you couldn’t rent panels or add them to your house for no money down. Putting solar panels on your roof was reserved for die hard Earth lovers with money to burn…sun-burn if you will. Sure, you got half your money back from tax incentives but you still had a big nut to put down or take a loan for the other half. Fortunately, now going solar is not just reserved for people with extra money in the bank, ANYONE can go solar. ANYONE can lower their electric bills.

Sounds great, right? I’m sure you have the same question that everyone else asks me…were those three guys really on the Electric Company? The answer is yes.  And usually the follow up question is “How much money am I really going to save by going solar?” To give you an idea, my husband likes our house like a freezer in the summer. As soon as the temperature hits the high 60s outside our AC is now officially on until it snows.  He’s got that thing working harder than the mop-boy at a peep show.  We’re now about a month into “hubby-summer” as we call it and with the AC blasting we just paid our electric bill of $13.02. Our system has paid for itself in roughly 7 years (which was early because our system performed better than we projected) and we’re looking at 20+ more years of minimal electric bills.

I had never been happier to have something finish earlier than expected.

The post I’m A Solar High-Roller appeared first on Living Clean and Dirty.

I used to think maybe two of them were places you could only get to by plane and one was something you put on cuts for some reason. As I get older (read: wiser), I’ve come to appreciate that actually one of them is a place where something is mined and two of them are the mine-ees (miners? minors?).

That’s right, faithful readers. The Himalayan Salt Lamp train is leaving the station. Hop on board.

Toot toot!

Salt lamps come in a few varieties. There are baskets of smaller salt rocks, but most come in chunk sizes ranging from about 5 to 15 inches. I’m an 8-inch kind of gal, so I stuck with what I know.

I’ve read a lot about how these warm pink and orange glowing lamps can benefit your health and well-being. While I’m not convinced they’re the miracle cure some websites make them out to be, I figure this shit probably won’t hurt me, so why not give it a try? You can call me a skeptic, but I’m skeptical of any holistic fad that starts cutting into my alcohol budget.

So after a few hours of wine-fueled research, here are the potential benefits I found.

• Cleanse and deodorize the air. I figured this might be useful in my house with two large dogs who rarely bathe, two daughters who somehow always smell like gym class, a hubby who works out at home, and me…a busy mom who occasionally gets that not-so-fresh feeling.

• Reduce allergy and asthma symptoms. Nobody in my family has asthma or severe allergies, but I’d read enough positive reviews to make me curious. Between the dogs and the dust bunnies, I figured it couldn’t hurt.

• Increase energy levels. Done, done and done! Take my money. Who doesn’t need more energy? I love to sleep. I mean I REALLY love to sleep. If sleeping were an Olympic event, I’d be standing on the podium every four years. Even after seven hours…OK fine…ten hours…my energy level still isn’t exactly setting the world on fire.

• Improve your mood, concentration and sleep. Yes, yes and yes. I put one in each of my girls’ rooms and told them it was their new nightlight. They thought they looked cool, and I figured they beat the bright lamps they had before. Goodbye Hello Kitty. Hello giant glowing pink rock. I even convinced them it helped keep the boogeyman away. That’s right. I lie because I love.

Now, I believe I’ve mentioned before that my darling Cockateer (let’s call him husband) wasn’t exactly thrilled about having glowing pink rocks scattered throughout the house. I tried reasoning with him, but he insisted they looked like pink kryptonite and started making up ridiculous superhero side effects. Honestly, I had no counterargument because I was laughing too hard.

A few days later, after I had enthusiastically shared every potential benefit I’d read about, he did what any skeptical husband would do.

He went on Amazon and ordered five of them.

While my husband may no longer fear the boogeyman, he is still one of the world’s worst sleepers. Ever since I met him, bedtime has been less about sleeping and more about wandering through the house looking for projects that absolutely cannot wait until morning. I’ve tried melatonin, essential oils, meditation, deep breathing…nothing seemed to help.

Oddly enough, the salt lamp did.

Not because of any magical health benefits, mind you.

It simply became our bedroom light.

The soft glow was a whole lot nicer than turning on the closet light and pretending we were starring in an off-Broadway production. Somewhere along the way it earned the nickname “the boom boom light.” The dogs even seemed to figure it out. The second that pink light came on, they’d quietly get up and leave the room without being asked.

Pavlov would have been proud.

Is the Himalayan Salt Lamp everything people claim it is?

I honestly can’t say.

Do I know if it cleans the air? Nope.

Do I know if it boosts energy or helps allergies? Not really.

Do I know it gives the bedroom a warm glow, makes the house feel cozy and looks a whole lot better than the old lamps we had?

Absolutely.

And if it turns out some of those other health benefits are real too, even better.

I figure there’s no harm in giving one a shot. Worst case scenario, you end up with a pretty cool-looking lamp.

Best case?

Well…let’s just say around our house it’s still affectionately known as the “boom boom” light.

The post Boom Boom Shake Shake the Room! appeared first on Living Clean and Dirty.