I used to think maybe two of them were places you could only get to by plane and one was something you put on cuts for some reason. As I get older (read: wiser), I’ve come to appreciate that actually one of them is a place where something is mined and two of them are the mine-ees (miners? minors?).

That’s right, faithful readers. The Himalayan Salt Lamp train is leaving the station. Hop on board.

Toot toot!

Salt lamps come in a few varieties. There are baskets of smaller salt rocks, but most come in chunk sizes ranging from about 5 to 15 inches. I’m an 8-inch kind of gal, so I stuck with what I know.

I’ve read a lot about how these warm pink and orange glowing lamps can benefit your health and well-being. While I’m not convinced they’re the miracle cure some websites make them out to be, I figure this shit probably won’t hurt me, so why not give it a try? You can call me a skeptic, but I’m skeptical of any holistic fad that starts cutting into my alcohol budget.

So after a few hours of wine-fueled research, here are the potential benefits I found.

• Cleanse and deodorize the air. I figured this might be useful in my house with two large dogs who rarely bathe, two daughters who somehow always smell like gym class, a hubby who works out at home, and me…a busy mom who occasionally gets that not-so-fresh feeling.

• Reduce allergy and asthma symptoms. Nobody in my family has asthma or severe allergies, but I’d read enough positive reviews to make me curious. Between the dogs and the dust bunnies, I figured it couldn’t hurt.

• Increase energy levels. Done, done and done! Take my money. Who doesn’t need more energy? I love to sleep. I mean I REALLY love to sleep. If sleeping were an Olympic event, I’d be standing on the podium every four years. Even after seven hours…OK fine…ten hours…my energy level still isn’t exactly setting the world on fire.

• Improve your mood, concentration and sleep. Yes, yes and yes. I put one in each of my girls’ rooms and told them it was their new nightlight. They thought they looked cool, and I figured they beat the bright lamps they had before. Goodbye Hello Kitty. Hello giant glowing pink rock. I even convinced them it helped keep the boogeyman away. That’s right. I lie because I love.

Now, I believe I’ve mentioned before that my darling Cockateer (let’s call him husband) wasn’t exactly thrilled about having glowing pink rocks scattered throughout the house. I tried reasoning with him, but he insisted they looked like pink kryptonite and started making up ridiculous superhero side effects. Honestly, I had no counterargument because I was laughing too hard.

A few days later, after I had enthusiastically shared every potential benefit I’d read about, he did what any skeptical husband would do.

He went on Amazon and ordered five of them.

While my husband may no longer fear the boogeyman, he is still one of the world’s worst sleepers. Ever since I met him, bedtime has been less about sleeping and more about wandering through the house looking for projects that absolutely cannot wait until morning. I’ve tried melatonin, essential oils, meditation, deep breathing…nothing seemed to help.

Oddly enough, the salt lamp did.

Not because of any magical health benefits, mind you.

It simply became our bedroom light.

The soft glow was a whole lot nicer than turning on the closet light and pretending we were starring in an off-Broadway production. Somewhere along the way it earned the nickname “the boom boom light.” The dogs even seemed to figure it out. The second that pink light came on, they’d quietly get up and leave the room without being asked.

Pavlov would have been proud.

Is the Himalayan Salt Lamp everything people claim it is?

I honestly can’t say.

Do I know if it cleans the air? Nope.

Do I know if it boosts energy or helps allergies? Not really.

Do I know it gives the bedroom a warm glow, makes the house feel cozy and looks a whole lot better than the old lamps we had?

Absolutely.

And if it turns out some of those other health benefits are real too, even better.

I figure there’s no harm in giving one a shot. Worst case scenario, you end up with a pretty cool-looking lamp.

Best case?

Well…let’s just say around our house it’s still affectionately known as the “boom boom” light.

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