Dancing with Jake Ryan

So there I was, a fresh-faced budding young woman of 14.  I was at the movies with some friends and that’s when I first saw him.  He became very important in my “formative years” and was often on my mind as I drifted off to sleep…Jake Ryan.  When Sixteen Candles came out in 1984 I thought the story was cute, the dress was awesome, but Jake was dreamy.  Somehow over the years his dialogue with Long Duck Dong blurred in {Read More}

I want to give you an STD

Ok, you should know by now that I’m into the shock factor, and I’ve come to realize that’s ok.  I don’t believe as a society we listen to the gentle whispers, we are a society of Octo-mom, mermaid mockumentaries and Haliburton.  Nobody is going to give a shit if I say, “Hey, here’s some everyday things you should be doing to improve your life”, but if I go with “Hey internet, how about some Herpes”…you’re all ears. Let’s talk about {Read More}

Surviving Val-Pocalypse 2015

As I’m sure you can tell by now, I love to have a good laugh.  But I should preface that with the fact that the material needs to be funny.  Back in my single days a guy gave me this card on Valentine’s Day.  Now, granted I took some artistic liberties with the card itself because the original is still probably in police evidence “just in case”, but the sentiment is the same.  He wasn’t funny, he was super creepy {Read More}

Greening up his cleaning habits

When I began changing our personal care products so we bought only cruelty-free my hubby made three requests.  I have to give the guy credit, to the average bear I’m getting into some pretty weird shit here.  I would say that he rubbed his lamp and Ellen the green genie popped out to grant him his three wishes, but this would probably entail a Barbara Eden (look it up) costume and a techno version of the Aladdin soundtrack.  That would {Read More}

It puts the lotion in the basket…

I love body lotion (but I love a good Silence of the Lambs line just as much). Sure, I tell my husband it’s a “marital aid” when used properly, but sometimes I just like how it feels and how it smells. It can be very relaxing especially on my dry skin. When I find great products, I love telling all my friends about them. I’m a girl, so obviously I use a ton of personal care products. This sounded like {Read More}

Smell Ya Later!

I love to cook and my friends all know it (clap your hands). By far, the most questions I get is about Mama Ellen’s recipe for homemade deodorant.  It never fails…when I tell someone I make my own deodorant they wrinkle their face, say something like, “Ew gross” and by the end of our conversation they ask me for the recipe.  Now it’s quite possible they are putting it in their back pocket for the next time their husband bitches {Read More}