Yoga: Today’s Four Letter Word

In my younger days if you were to ask me about yoga I would have immediately responded with “well, he’s smarter than your average bear and loves picnic baskets, but why he wore a hat and tie but no pants I have no idea”.  As I got a little older, a little wiser and honestly a little stiffer (hah, stiff) yoga became something a little more up my alley.  At its core, yoga is a series of physical postures which {Read More}

Welcome to Douchebagistan, Population: ME!

Let’s start 2017 with some definitions Goals: The result or achievement toward which effort is directed; aim; end Selfish: Devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one’s own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others. Liquor: How a male animal cleans his mate (ok, that one might be a bit of a stretch, but I was on a roll) Well, so now that 2016 has finished kicking our ass I’m looking forward to my life in 2017. {Read More}

Dancing with Jake Ryan

So there I was, a fresh-faced budding young woman of 14.  I was at the movies with some friends and that’s when I first saw him.  He became very important in my “formative years” and was often on my mind as I drifted off to sleep…Jake Ryan.  When Sixteen Candles came out in 1984 I thought the story was cute, the dress was awesome, but Jake was dreamy.  Somehow over the years his dialogue with Long Duck Dong blurred in {Read More}

Not so Fast-Food

In the words of the great Ferris Bueller “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”  I equate this quote to my behavior at the dinner table at the risk of my husband associating this movie with things rapidly going into my mouth, I’m afraid he’d never be able to watch it with a straight face again.  Allow me to explain… When I was a kid I sat across {Read More}

I want to give you an STD

Ok, you should know by now that I’m into the shock factor, and I’ve come to realize that’s ok.  I don’t believe as a society we listen to the gentle whispers, we are a society of Octo-mom, mermaid mockumentaries and Haliburton.  Nobody is going to give a shit if I say, “Hey, here’s some everyday things you should be doing to improve your life”, but if I go with “Hey internet, how about some Herpes”…you’re all ears. Let’s talk about {Read More}

Surviving Val-Pocalypse 2015

As I’m sure you can tell by now, I love to have a good laugh.  But I should preface that with the fact that the material needs to be funny.  Back in my single days a guy gave me this card on Valentine’s Day.  Now, granted I took some artistic liberties with the card itself because the original is still probably in police evidence “just in case”, but the sentiment is the same.  He wasn’t funny, he was super creepy {Read More}

I Want to Be Your Sole Survivor

Here’s an easy green tip for all of my peeps.  Take off your shoes at the front door. OK, back when I was pre-green I thought this was weird when people would ask me to go shoeless in their house.  Take off my fucking shoes?  What am I…5?  I’m so glad I’m wearing my period socks which are stained and have holes in one of the toes (yes, period socks).  Well,as it turns out post-green Ellen thinks this is a {Read More}

Be Tolerant of Intolerance

Like most of the world, I never liked to try new things and I hate change, but last year I began my “Year of Fear” project.  We’re not talking about bungee jumping and getting tattoos, but more like wearing plaid and keeping my eyes open during sex (not at the same time, cause that’d be weird).  It’s my baby-steps approach to trying things I would have never dreamed of before. I’ve had some real highs points during my YOF. I {Read More}