Boom Boom Shake Shake the Room!

There are three words that this girl lives to hear.  That’s right…Pakistan, Magnesium and Iodine.  I used to think that maybe 2 of them were places that you can only get to by plane and one is something you put on cuts for some reason.  As I get older (read: wiser) I have come to appreciate that actually 1 of them is a place where something is mined and 2 of them are the mine-ees (miners, minors, ??).  That’s right {Read More}

Welcome to Douchebagistan, Population: ME!

Let’s start 2017 with some definitions Goals: The result or achievement toward which effort is directed; aim; end Selfish: Devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one’s own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others. Liquor: How a male animal cleans his mate (ok, that one might be a bit of a stretch, but I was on a roll) Well, so now that 2016 has finished kicking our ass I’m looking forward to my life in 2017. {Read More}

Lick it before you bite it

We all make choices every day. Even choosing not to make a choice is a choice. Most of the choices are small ones, coffee or juice, soup or salad, Polish Bike Ride or Cambodian Basket Toss, you get the idea. Sometimes we even make choices that we know aren’t going to work out well, but we choose them anyway. It’s like when my personal driver (let’s call him husband) chooses to ask me for directions. Him: OK, look it up {Read More}

Surviving Val-Pocalypse 2015

As I’m sure you can tell by now, I love to have a good laugh.  But I should preface that with the fact that the material needs to be funny.  Back in my single days a guy gave me this card on Valentine’s Day.  Now, granted I took some artistic liberties with the card itself because the original is still probably in police evidence “just in case”, but the sentiment is the same.  He wasn’t funny, he was super creepy {Read More}

Paint…it’s not just for breakfast anymore

Remember hearing all those awful stories when we were younger about kids getting sick from eating lead paint.  Well it turns out that today’s paint isn’t exactly as worry free as we may think.  I’m not saying anyone sees a can of paint and says, “Oh thank GOD, I was starving.”  It’s just that in the day and age when we have phones that can accidentally (or on purpose) send a picture of our own tits to anyone with an {Read More}